I called Sam. I heard his voice.
I was sitting by the window. At home. Minnesota home.
I asked "Do you know where he is?"
Sam said "Yeah, I have a few numbers. I can give them to you."
I wrote them down.
I was shaking. I was nervous.
Sam said " he has been trying to heal. he gets better and finds girls that help him. but everyone now and then he breaks down and say "I miss tara marie."
My heart started expanding.
Like it used to.
i asked sam to go to Conor Oberst's show with me.
he said "sure. i'll go."
he said he lived in Williamsburg, off Berry Street.
i said "of course you do."
but my eyes were all on the paper in front of me.
all those numbers, so far, yet so easy to finally...hear.
new york numbers seem longer...somehow...
i woke up just as i heard him take a breath.
i believe i'm going crazy.
breaking my heart like this i public.
entertaining thoughts of romance/suicide.
ryan adams says i have a sickness.
i couldn't agree more.
but i won't drink his medicine.
i hope it kills me.Ryan AdamsCardinology