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  • Ten Top Trivia Tips about Metallica!

    4 Sep 2009, 0:24

  • Describe yourself using ONE band and song titles from that band

    28 Jun 2008, 6:18

    The band | Oomph!
    Are you male or female | Eine Frau spricht im Schlaf
    Describe yourself | Unrein
    How do some people feel about you | Scorn
    How do you feel about yourself | Kontrollverlust
    Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend | Asshole
    Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend | Nichts (ist kälter als deine Liebe)
    Describe where you want to be | Im Licht
    Describe what you want to be | Breathtaker
    Describe where you live | Down in This Hole
    Describe how you love | I Come Alive
    Share a few words of wisdom | No Heart No Pain

    Oh, I'z so em0z! *cries*
  • Rant #347377: The Power of Love? Watch now as my brain implodes

    25 Mar 2008, 2:01

    I realize I’m late in the game, but I’ve been avoiding this song for ages based on what I’ve heard about it from others. This morning, however, I decided to break down and have at it… Oh boy, I almost wish I hadn’t…

    So ladies and gents, without further ado, I present to you:


    Rant #347377: The Power of Love? Watch now as my brain implodes.


    Honestly, what the crap is this? Dating for Dummies? A method of slathering on the sentiments so thickly even a person with a sweet tooth a mile wide would feel sickened by all the saccharine? Perchance a bogus excuse for a Casanova listed "God-awful, lovey-dovey, projectile-vomit-inducing poetry" as an interest of his over at eHarmony.com and this whatchamacallit — a love song you say? — was written in appreciation of the only bimbo who had ever paid him the time of day?

    And we can just forget about killing it with fire; I want to see this abomination freeze like the T-1000 from Terminator 2. (Because, you know, like love songs are like old news. Abomination is where it’s at: the sexy new genre that’s all the rage!) Then I'd blow this hokey ditty straight to hell where it belongs. In the 9th level. Where Satan dwells in all his satanic glory. Only, I wouldn't be stupid enough to do my dirty work in a steel mill so's Love could sit right back up and continue to terrorize us with its utterly ridiculous lyrics.

    Oh, the bad bad music... How it touches me in places I'd rather it not. But as I'm out of 10 foot poles, I guess I'm fresh outta luck.


    In conclusion: Frankie Goes to Hollywood… you've just made slot Numero uno on my hit list for penning those monstrous lyrics in the first place. And Oomph!? You know, Gekreuzigt 2006 is pretty nifty. Why pair this big shit along with it and call it a single? I mean, why? If anything, you boneheads made the song worse!

    GAH!

    Pull hair. Grab pipe cleaner. Stick in ear. Repeat.
  • Insult Your Top 20 — In Which I Show No Mercy

    14 Mar 2008, 17:59

    Now with added Tongue-in-Cheek!!™


    1. Oomph!
    "Boys? We need a plan of action if we're to ever produce another Augen auf!. I mean, Wahrheit Oder Pflicht was super mondo popular, yes? So what do you think we could do next to guarantee the public will buy..? By Jove, I think I've got it! Why don't we churn out another similarly sounding album and write this song called Gott ist ein Popstar?!!? They'll just eat it up!"

    2. Combichrist
    Good lyrics. Get some.

    3. Alkaline Trio
    Don't you just wanna go up to Matt and shout a sardonic "boohoohoo" right in his face/ear/pants?

    4. X-Ray Dog
    Reminds me of those detestable twenty minutes of commercials shown before the feature presentation at the theater.

    5. :Wumpscut:
    When Rudy produces a dud of a track, it's the worst kind of dud since dud came to Dudtown.

    6. Cradle of Filth
    No, that fake blood looks like spaghetti sauce. No, that makeup looks hideous on you. So do those pants. Yes, I'm not taking your image seriously.

    7. Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows
    Are you sure that's not the same song as this one here? 'Cause it sounds identical... Were the Shadows perhaps having an off day when they wrote it, by any chance? Or am I just witnessing Tortured Soul Syndrome in action?

    8. Placebo
    Repeated words, repeated words, repeated words. Way of filler? Way of filler? Way of filler?

    9. Suicide Commando
    OMGZ, Dark — wiv a capital "D" — lyrics. OLOLOLOL!1! W3 soz hardxore!

    10. The Blood Brothers
    Johnny Whitney and Cedric Bixler-Zavala should do a duet together. But then again, if this were to happen, every homeowner within a ten mile radius would have a house flattened right down to its foundation to contend with. Remember that insurance, people!

    11. Richard Cheese
    Yeah, how much smegma do you have, Mr. Cheese?

    12. Opeth
    Surely, Opeth must be credited with inventing the acoustic guitar. I mean, holy shit, I've never before heard anything like it! And the ten-minute-long-plus-mini-symphony type tracks? GENIUS. THE BAND WHO CHANGED MUSIC FOREVER, RIGHT HERE!

    13. Icon of Coil
    ...thinks we're all robots. Or something. Either that, or Andy wants to be a robot. Loser...

    14. Das Ich
    Stefan may or may not be an elf from the planet Really Bad Hair; Bruno, on the other hand, greatly resembles his cousin Chernabog.

    15. Apoptygma Berzerk
    APB and guitars: it's like trying to combine water with oil. Groth, you fuckin' asshat.

    16. Joan Baez
    Never cover Simon & Garfunkel again. Especially The Dangling Conversation. KEEP YOUR GRUBBY PAWS OFF THE DANGLING CONVERSATION!!!

    ...

    WHAT?!!? IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE?! Kill it! Kill it with fire!

    17. Simon & Garfunkel
    Like two big kids squabbling over the last cookie:

    "MINE!"
    "NO MINE!"
    "THIS ISN'T WORKING!"
    "I KNOW!"
    "THAT'S IT, THIS IS OVER! I NEVER WANNA WORK WITH YOU AGAIN!"
    "FINE."
    "FINE!"

    18. Ludwig van Beethoven
    As he was often late in arriving for his concerts, I bought him an alarm clock. I don't know why... but it hasn't helped one whit.

    19. John Williams
    I guess there's no law against plagiarizing yourself.... Yawn.

    20. Earth, Wind & Fire
    It's abnormal in the extreme for a man to have a higher vocal range than a woman... IHU. *is jealous*
  • The infernal lyric game # 1

    15 Sep 2006, 7:32

    You know the drill.


    1. Bend me, shape me, misdirect me
    It's all the same to me

    Sinner

    2. Go, run away in distress
    Trying to hide from what's creeping and crawling and stabbing within

    Creature

    3. Nur noch ein Stück
    ein kleines Stück

    Freiflug

    4. Er liebt die Mutter
    und von der Seite

    Laichzeit

    5. Siehst du mich?
    Hörst du mich?

    5. März

    6. Down too long like I was before
    And I never thought I'd see the day

    7. Believe, when you lie
    You will never need to recognize yourself

    Believe

    8. Superstition taking all of us for a ride
    Mimes overtaken by the signs of the Right

    Tentative

    9. Well, you've got me working so hard lately
    Working my hands until they bleed

    Ringfinger

    10. Another memory and I'm asking myself
    How can I let the past be the past?

    This Is Now

    11. We passed through like a nightmare falling down
    Without touching the ground

    12. So, I think you are a fool
    Hanging on my every word

    Blame

    13. We should have waited
    We should have waited

    Universe

    14. Man sieht ihn um die Kirche schleichen
    seit einem Jahr ist er allein

    Heirate mich

    15. Who can tell me if we have heaven?
    Who can say the way it should be?


    Artists
    Aiden
    Alien Ant Farm
    Atreyu
    Disturbed
    Drowning Pool - one left!
    Enya
    Hatebreed
    Korn
    Megaherz
    Nine Inch Nails
    Rammstein - used twice
    System of a Down
  • Oh no! I have gone conformist!

    26 Ago 2006, 7:09

    1. What are you listening to right now?
    Our Sick Story (Thus Far)

    2. What song makes you sad?
    Hmm. The bridge in The Crimson gets me gloomy; but I'm drawing a complete blank as to what song actually invokes genuine sadness within me. I shall have to ponder this one.

    3. What is the most annoying song in the world?
    I Just Wanna Live.

    4. Your all time favorite band?
    Atreyu, Eisbrecher,Megaherz, Rammstein.

    5. Your newly discovered band is?
    *meep* Eisbrecher.

    6. Best female voice?
    I'm not too big on female-oriented vocals.

    7. Best male voice?
    Brandon Saller.

    8. Music type you find yourself listening to most?
    Electronic/electronic-type, metal with melody, industrial, etc, etc, etc...

    9. What do you listen to, to hype you up?
    I drink Red Bull to hype myself up, thank you.

    10. What do you listen to, to calm down?
    múm. Maybe an Enya song or two.

    11. Last gig/concert you went to?
    Never attended one.

    12. Band you find yourself listening to the most right now?
    The usuals. *points to Top 4*

    13. Most hated band?
    Sum 41.

    15. Band that you think the world should love as much as you do?
    Atreyu, without a doubt. Words cannot adequately express just how much love and respect I have for this band.

    16. Coolest music video?
    Don't care much for music vids.

    17. Music video with the most babe watch?
    Is it possible for you to have worded that question any more ridiculously than you have already?

    18. What "do you play/would you play" in the bedroom to spice things up?
    Laichzeit!!! Bahaha. I kid, kid.

    Maybe Die Gedanken sind frei.

    19. Can you play a musical instrument?
    Kazoo.

    20. Ever been in a mosh pit?
    Nope.

    21. Are you in a band?
    No... *sigh*

    22. If yes, what kind of music does your band play and what is your role in it?
    --

    23. Ever dated a musician?
    Notchet.

    24. If yes, what kind of music did he/she/they play/instrument/band?
    --

    27. If no, would you consider?
    Sure, why not.

    28. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician?
    Do you wish that English was your first language?

    29. Best chick band you know of?
    No idea.

    30. Best guy band you know of?
    Is this some twisted version of "boy band"?

    31. Last song that you heard on the radio/cd...etc?
    I don't listen to the radio.

    32. What do you think of Classical music?
    Not my cup of tea.

    33. What do you think of Country music?
    They play that brain cell-frying garbage in nearly every public establishment round these parts. Makes me want to tear my hair out by the roots, it does.

    34. What do you think of Death metal?
    Forgive me for being rather ignorant of the "exact" definition of death metal.

    35. Last BIG band that you saw live?
    --

    36. Are you a groupie?
    No.

    37. Do you listen to music in foreign languages?
    Yes.

    38. What famous musician would you like to fuck!?
    Brandon Saller! And either Alexx Wesselsky or Noel Pix. (I can't choose...)

    39. Worst concert moment?
    *headdesk*

    40. Funny Concert moment?
    --

    41. Sad Concert moment?
    --

    42. Best local act you can think of?
    Oh God. I don't even wanna dwell on such a horrific question as that. Probably the coolest thing to come out of the Shenandoah Valley is some toothless, in-bred Bluegrass quartet...and that's saying something.

    43. If you were a musical instrument what would you be?
    A big-ass bass drum.

    44. Do you listen to the radio?
    God no.

    45. Do you watch music TV?
    Every so often I'll tune into Music Choice.

    46. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40?
    No.

    47. Have you met any famous musicians?
    No.

    48. Are any of your friends/family etc musicians?
    Once again:

    No.

    49. Song that best describes your feelings right now?
    Müde

    50. Song that describes your life?
    Five Vicodin Chased With A Shot Of Clarity

    51. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to?
    Mostly.

    52. Does a musician's physical attractiveness play a role in the music that you listen to?
    Music first; attractiveness later.

    53. What famous musician do you want to marry?
    Bah. No nuptials for this girl.

    53. Favourite movie sound track?
    None, really.

    55. Any musician pet hates?
    Any sentence write better?

    56. What do your parents listen to?
    My dad is the classical, composery-period buff as is my mother -- to a certain extent. However, me mum was once ga-ga for System of Down, and now she rather enjoys Rammstein.

    57. What are you listening to right NOW?
    Fanatica (Club Mix).

    58. Do you wear band etc T-shirts?
    No.

    59. What do you think of people who do?
    They're representing. Good for them.

    60. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to?
    I'd rather not label/associate myself.

    61. What song is stuck in your head right now?
    Fanatica (Club Mix) was -- which is why I am currently listening to it.

    62. Do you sing in the shower?
    Not usually.

    63. If so, what? If not, why not?
    A cappella's not really my thing...

    64. Would you rather marry a musician or be one yourself?
    Why does it matter?

    65. What is in your walkman/discman right now?
    Nothin'.

    66. How important is your partners taste in music to you?
    I'll let you know when I happen to hook myself one, winner or not.

    67. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to beat them up?
    Taylor isn't bad looking at all, so I can't say I'd mind having something new to ogle through the curtains at night.

    68. Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll, you dig?
    *shrug*

    69. Do you cook to music?
    While the microwave cooks for me, you mean.

    70. Do you sing in the toilet?
    Sure. Flip the lid, settle down in the bowl, and belt out Gott sein. Yep, yep.