Viernes 23 Nov 2007, 14:16
I stole this from jerrymander, who stole it from uglybastard, who stole it from AdamAntZx, who forgot from whom he stole it. This was, as usual, just for fun.
20. Pain of Salvation
Dude, is this even music? I hate this whole progressive shit no one can even follow. It's just too complex for my brain.
19. Knorkator
If I had to come up with the definition of gay, this would be my response. Tattooed, bald people in women's dresses? Songs about being old, dying, about how music sucks - how can this band be any good?
18. Deep Purple
Oh please, the organ! It's just too cheesy. One of these so called founders of metal… come on. I can't say that any decent metal band uses this kind of organ for fuck's sake.
17. Nobuo Uematsu
Seriously, this moustache is a no-go. How can someone who looks that nerdy can be a good musician at all. Get a fucking life, Nobuo, get a fucking life.
16. Stratovarius
Kotipelto's vocals are the definition of how power metal can go wrong, way wrong. And the guitarist claims he fucked Hitler, yeah. Sick people.
15. John Watts
Well, okay. This guy can't even sing.
14. DragonForce
Oh my god. Another one of these bands who think if they play a song thrice as fast as a normal band, they're instantly better. I cite my friend I-Am-Satan here: "they can't play live, the keyboardist totally overdoes it, the guitarist gay little busted jumping is just embarassing and the singers a cocksucking cunt, i hope he gets AIDS, these are well and truly fucking wank". See?
13. HammerFall
Power of the steel of the metal of the unicorn of the angel of the sword! Holy shit, how gay can it get? Plus, one song was the theme of a Swedish curling team. CURLING. How not-metal is that?
12. Korpiklaani
Alcoholic bums making music with weird instruments. 'Nuff said.
11. Edguy
Awful band with a Bruce Dickinson wannabe singer and cheesy over-the-top power metal.
10. Iced Earth
Let's face it. Everyone claimed that without Matt Barlow, they suck. Truth is, they sucked even with Barlow.
9. Blind Guardian
OH, THE MAGIC DRAGON. IN THE FAIRYLAND! WITH THE MIGHTY SWORD! AND THE UNICORN! AND MY MAGIC IS RUNNING LOW! LORD OF THE RINGS! SAURON'S STRUGGLE! CHEESECAKE! WTF!
8. Schandmaul
Guys, the middle ages are past. Get over it.
7. Machinae Supremacy
What a weird band. The singer can't sing, the keyboard are damn annoying (seriously, there's a reason why video game music does not consist of chiptunes anymore) and they're covering video game songs - how NERDY is that!
6. Akira Yamaoka
Who?
5. Slayer
Middle-aged men growling about how religion sucks and Satan prevails. Aren't they a bit too old for that?
4. Children of Bodom
Mallcore gone metal. Only because you have keyboards and guitars dueling at lightning speed doesn't mean that you make good music. I suggest a collaboration with DragonForce.
3. Metallica
SELL OUTS! SELL OUTS! SELL OUTS! SELL OUTS!
2. Iron Maiden
Aren't these guys supposed to be dying of old age now? And who the fuck needs three guitarists? It's like a bycicle with three wheels. No, not a tricycle, a bicycle with three wheels.
1. Sonata Arctica
Fact: They suck big time. Their singer sucks, their guitarist sucks, the keyboarder is a damn ugly faggot and their bass player sucks too. Ah, and the drummer. THE WHOLE BAND SUCKS. SUCKAGE. SUCK SUCK SUUUUUUUCK!