Sábado 4 Abr 2009, 22:40

God, this still makes me cry.
Jupiter starts up and I get goosebumps, people scream and I just get the image of it all in my mind, I can't even imagine what it would have been to be there…
This whole live is absolutely incredible. I get chills as Sakurai shouts "SAY GOODBYE" at the end and…ahh. It's amazing.

I will always love BUCK-TICK, but even when I was living over there and going to so many shows in their 20th year, I couldn't help but feel kind of…nervous(?) sometimes. That's a LOT of history. I was only 18 at the time so I felt in over my head.

I love this band, but in a way they will never be my band. I'd like to believe they're still in their prime, and with releases like Memento Mori it's so great to see what they've still got in them after so long as this band. They're inspirational.

Even so, I feel I've grown closer to メリー because I've been there from nearly the beginning. I saw the release of their first singles, first album, first one-man, going major. I saw THEM early on. I've grown with them, and the bond is really so strong. Maybe it helps that they're only 7-8 years older than me in a way too, but I really feel the relationship is different than with B-T.

I don't think it means I love one more than the other actually, but I think sometimes I come to grips better with expressing myself as a Merry fan because of the way I connect with them.
I can't really put words to it, but I'm really so glad to have both of these groups in my life. Regardless of what other musical tastes I may have or pursue, they are my mainstays.
Merry may always come out ahead though because to me, I've been part of this history, and for me it takes root because there's something so personal about it all.

I always wonder how others think about it though. I mean arguably, as an international fan, even living outside of the country being a fan really can put you on the outside looking in. I feel fortunate to have wonderful friends who do all they can to share their experiences, and it gets me close enough for a taste but…what can a taste do but make you want more?

As I'm writing this, I know I'm a little riled up.
I've got a lot on my mind knowing I may do something foolish to get back there but…I need to. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. I don't know. Performing/touring is no small part of what a band does, so the experience feels incomplete if you consistently miss out on that aspect of things I guess?

Though I suppose, if there's anything I've learned from a dear friend of mine in recent days, it's that it's something worth waiting for.

My decision shouldn't be this tough; I know what I want.