27 Mar 2011, 22:32

While plunging my toilet for the 700 millionth time this month, I was brainstorming what to say about Snoop Dogg’s latest album Doggumentary—and why our first reaction to a toilet that won’t flush anymore is to simply flush again. It can’t be coincidence, I thought. Each new album since R&G (Rhythm & Gangsta): The Masterpiece has been progressively worse (I actually enjoyed a number of songs on R & G and mistakenly hoped it’d get better), but he keeps making more of them. It’s like simply being unable to flush isn’t enough—no, he’s got to fill the toilet to overflowing.

I wonder how his wife feels about that. Or his continued pimp image album-after-album. Probably not much—they’ve been married since 1997 (minus the years between their 2004 divorce and 2008 remarriage). Eh, she probably doesn’t care. They could easily live off—well off—his endorsements, television and movie cameos, and sales of his older, better albums for the rest of their lives.

And his fans? Well, screw them. He’ll continue spouting lyrics about smoking weed, being a gangsta, being rich, being a pimp, and little else and as boringly as possible, the only difference between one song and the next being his delivery—if we’re lucky. Lucky for him, he’s so dang loveable, but even that seems to be wearing off in his music. Katy Perry collaboration, anyone?

Granted, he turns 40 this year so it’s understandable that he has nothing interesting left to say that isn’t specifically scripted for him in one of his television or film cameos. That’s why I haven’t bothered to address the actual album so far.

The only interesting parts (read: interesting, not necessarily good) are the short skits. In one, a shady man offers some kids drugs and they proceed to make fun of and beat him up (I smirked). In another, a voicemail message from a “Chuck,” a man in prison asks Snoop talks like they’re longtime friends, only to ask for bail, then weed money, then a ride, then one of Snoop’s women (I smirked again).

Then, there’s his Superman collaboration with Willie Nelson that’s even worse than it sounds. Instead of singing about possibly humorous inebriated escapades, they sing about how they’re not Superman and thus, not invincible. If this song isn’t proof, I don’t know what it is. Of course, E-40’s verse on My Fucking House (best beat on the album), Kanye’s verse and John Legend’s hook on Eyez Closed (which might’ve been a good song without Snoop’s interference), and Snoop’s double-time rhymes on “Platinum” but more so R. Kelly’s additions to the song, are also highlights. R. Kelly comes off as a much more convincing pimp. I think it’s time for Snoop to stop. None of these beats are amazing enough to make up for his boredom or ours, and collaborators shouldn’t upstage the album artist on every song.

Favorite SongsSong: “Platinum (feat. R. Kelly)
Rating: 2.5/5


  • tizudyzae

    i agree with everything you said but may i also add that (s)wet or the david guetta (s)wet remix do not do this album any favours.

    30 May 2011, 10:03
  • ggnomeproject

    Can't argue with you there. At all.

    1 Jun 2011, 20:15
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