• Watching C-Section videos at 630AM or How Did it Come to This

    26 Abr 2012, 18:12

    Wed 25 Apr – Justice, Breakbot

    Never mind the fact that I was already pretty devastatingly tired.

    Never mind the fact that I was down because a hookup never got back to me. Sad face.

    Never mind the fact that I missed the opening song, which sounded like a hybrid of Horsepower and Genesis because I'm a drunk and HAD to get another overpriced Scuttlebutt Porter.

    The boys put on a hell of a show. What's interesting is how easily they mix their songs together, repeating melodies and hooks throughout their set, so you're constantly surprised with reprises. Can I blame a brutal hangover for that statement? I had also read a lot of online mutter about how Justice doesn't play a truly live set, how they're fake electronic musician, how they don't pay taxes, etc. Honestly, I don't really give a shit. They were percussive, heavy, inventive and kept me up and dancing for the entire time that they played. When I wasn't jumping up and down, banging my knees on the tops of the seats in front of me and almost hurtling to a romantic, messy death to the bottom floor, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Sometimes lyrics, sometimes cheering, once even a "Come together!" for some sad, strange reason. I even sang along to Audio, Video, Disco. Over and over and over again. And I HATE that song. I hate that song more than I hate raisins, and I fucking HATE raisins. That is a true testament to what Justice can do with their music in a live setting. I was sorely disappointed with AVD, but I have a better appreciation for the album now. The idea that all those "arena rock" songs are composed electronically is pretty amazing. Also seeing the Paramount full of people and seeing everyone dance and I mean EVERYONE, is pretty amazing too.

    To speak of set lists is futile because, like I said, they mix a lot of their songs together, and because I'm a drunk. I pre funked at Bimbo's, made a friend who has to work at 730 in the morning do shots with me and stumbled into the Paramount at 850. Then I proceeded to walk around trying to find my seat and almost started crying because I couldn't find it. Some 15 year old kid was kind enough to escort me to my designated spot which faced the stage dead on and gave me an instant boner. Then I had to pee. Finding the bathroom took another 15 minutes. Then I realized I had no idea where my seat was again. Being drunk and lost inside the Paramount is a horrible experience. It's like being lost in a Disney ride. Note to self: Never do mushrooms before a show at the Paramount.

    I heard all the songs I had wanted to hear. I even got some WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN, SO COME ON action. I love that song. I sing that line and hug myself sometimes. No one gets me, truly gets me, you know what I mean?

    After the show, I proceeded to go to Pony and danced to Marilyn Manson and NIN and then met up with a friend and went to another bar and got so hammered I'm pretty sure I have dents in my brain. Then I proceeded to try and make out with two different people but that is another story for another day.

    Shitty cell phone camera, stupid human knees, and no work today.

    P.S. Many apologies for the horrible formatting.

    JusticeCrossAudio, Video, Disco
  • Prescription

    14 Ago 2011, 20:49

    Any time you see me listening to a lot of 90s bands back to back, it means that I'm depressed or on drugs.

  • 1000 Hurts

    15 Jun 2009, 23:42

    Thu 11 Jun – Shellac, Arcwelder

    The ADD version (since I seem to have no patience for my usual effluvium):

    Arcwelder - Awesome drummer. Pretty cool set. Like an emotional Shellac. Some of their songs had moments that stayed with me for hours afterwards. That's right. Stayed with me.

    Shellac - I'M A PLANE. Jesus Christ I had no idea how light hearted these guys are in real life. I had expected a group of super serious geeksters that would pick me out of the crowd and start making fun of my Old Navy jeans and t-shirt and instead, I saw three completely goofy guys that seemed to exercise the "rock star ethic" as much as parody it. There were moments of hilarity - the Hindu-God-drummer and the I-Am-A-Plane spoken word song - moments of almost-groove - My Black Ass and Watch Song - and moments of just straight up punk fervor - Copper and Steady as She Goes. I showed up with a pounding hangover, an expensive but incredibly shitty Veggie Dog from Seattle Center clogging my pipes like a used tampon stuck in a dog's thorat and I walked out incredibly refresed. Like a virgin.

    Editor's Note: I don't like the sound system at the Vera. I was expecting Bob Weston's metal saw basslines and Todd Trainer's pounding drum lines to shatter my ear drums, but they sounded surprisingly toned down. Then again, I am slightly deaf. Maybe that had something to do with it. Probably not though.

    What the fuck was up with the crowd. What a bunch of rude bitches. I'm seriously glad my parents beath the shit out of me when I was a kid.

    The setlist as I remember it, sans the songs I missed. Axl Rose.

    My Black Ass
    Prayer to God
    Steady as She Goes
    Dog and Pony Show
    Squirrel Song
    The End of Radio
    Watch Song
  • Choo Choo Choo Choo Beep Beep!

    8 Oct 2008, 22:28

    Tue 7 Oct – Deerhoof, Experimental Dental School, Coconut

    Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. The best part about last night was:

    1. I didn't spend all my money on alcohol.
    2. Kickass music.
    3. I got laid this morning.

    Here's my ADD review of the gig:

    I rarely ever get on a band's case about anything, but seriously, how much more can you sound like Deerhoof? I really dug the guitarist of this band, very smooth and laid back. Apart from that, I really didn't see why we needed to start out a Deerhoof show with Diet-Deerhoof. Yes I'm all about peace, love and empathy and other assorted hippieations, but Coconut bored the living shit out of me. All I kept thinking during their set was "God I wish Deerhoof was playing".

    Experimental Dental School
    I'd just recently gotten ahold of "Jane Doe Loves Me" and I was pretty impressed, particularly with the title track... but their record was like dry humping a couch compared with the orgy that was seeing this band live. BRILLIANT. Just a guitarist and a drummer but they sounded louder than most five-piece bands I know about. Jesse Hall (guitarist) made a joke at one point that they sounded like Deerhoof and I've read record reviews that compare XDS to Deerhoof, but I really don't see any similarities apart from the sometimes-female vocals. By that logic, everyone that plays guitar sounds like Jimi Hendrix. The guitarist kicked ass and his pedal board cracked me up. It actually took me a while to realize that he wasn't playing a bass. The drums were the BEST part about this band. Shoko was my favorite drummer last night. She kicked ass and she had no attitude whatsoever. Furious, punchy and very very unconventional. I just liked watching her play. The fact that there is just one guitar in the band, gives her a lot of room to fool around on the drums. XDS came across as a cross between dance punk, noise rock and dream pop. Will go see these guys again for sure.

    10,000 times better than on record. From the moment Deerhoof took the stage to when they left, I was a happy little shroomed out camper. Satomi is so little and her style is so cute. That word is unavoidable when talking about her. The woman is fucking cute. I kept looking at her and thinking "I need to buy me one of those". John Dieterich and Ed Rodriguez play like they've been playing together for years. They hardly ever even looked at each other to synch their guitar parts. It was awesome. They are a lot less trebly than on record and so much more explosive. I especially liked how Dieterich's look-down-and-make-O-faces style was balanced by Ed's goofy nature. Seeing them play live also made me realize just how many of the sounds I hear Deerhoof make aren't actually made by horns, but by two guitars. Or maybe they are horns on record. I don't know. All I know is I didn't see one "normal" chord being played during Deerhoof's set. Well... maybe three.

    And then... of course... the beast that is Greg Saunier. I had no idea how much of a hardhitter Greg Saunier is in real life. I think if he played that loud on record, our speakers would explode. He knows when to back off though, which is what makes all the difference. And he does it all with a bass drum and a snare, one cymbal and a hi-hat the size of a small country. Eat your heart out metal drummers.

    Wikipedia wasn't kidding when they said that Saunier often bases his drum playing around the classical style of rubato. To my uneducated, punk brain that basically means a piece of music that is speeded up or slowed down at the direction of the conductor. If I'm wrong then bite me. I didn't know what the fuck to expect at certain points in Deerhoof's setlist. A notable example would be "Twin Killers". Saunier fucked with that song so much, I was scared I'd be caught off beat, the audience would point at me and laugh and I'd have to leave...

    You could just call Deerhoof a percussive band that has a vocalist to entertain the audience, but I think that doesn't do justice to the teddy-bear-with-teeth package the band puts out both on record and as a live band.

    They were a lot bouncier live than I had expected. I was thinking it would be more of a quiet and dreamy experience, but it was more like a dance party thrown by drunk kindergarteners. I know I'm going to get slaughtered for saying that (oooh sexy) but at times, I would look around and see kids jumping up and down saying "basket ball basket ball" and it was such good-natured silliness that I really felt like I was 5 years old again. I don't care if people call Deerhoof: Pokemon music, it is brilliant, inventive and a lot more sophisticated than the average listener would believe.

    Random ambling:

    Blonde drunk girl was hilarious at first. Until she came over and took over my spot. I opened my mouth to ask her if she was ok and she shoved her hair into my mouth. Then she elbowed me in the groin. Does that mean we got to second base? Then she stepped on my foot and stumbled off into the crowd. Just when we were getting to know each other. What the fuck.

    Each band had an "Asian" member. What was up with that? I'm "Asian". I can play the tambourine. What the fuck.

    Longer version may follow. If my lazy ass feels up to it.

    These were the songs I remember:

    Basket Ball Get Your Groove Back
    The Perfect Me
    Spirit Ditties of No Tone
    Chandelier Searchlight
    Dummy Discards A Heart
    Twin Killers
    Fresh Born (the wah ruled)
    The Tears and Music of Love
    Eaguru Guru

    If others could add and maybe put in the right order, I will send you lots and lots of good thoughts.

    Songs I would have kissed my ex-wife (no tongue! well maybe a little) to hear:
    Hark the Umpire
    Panda Panda Panda (Oh come on, you were hoping for this one too, you know it)
  • How to be sober and still have fun at a gig

    18 Sep 2008, 21:36

    Wed 17 Sep – Japanther, Shearing Pinx

    There's something quaintly kickass about paying $10 for a gig. Something delightfully indie/punk/fuck you about seeing live music three feet away from your face. No smoke machines, no raver laser lights, no holographic effects and flying robots that will do your taxes for you because you're a BIGRICHROCKBAND. Something fantastic and wonderful and oh-so-goddamn-underground.

    Even if you get to the venue and THEN realize that everything in the venue is targeted towards people UNDER 21 years of age. Which means:

    1. Colored-in pictures on the wall.
    2. Some extremely little kids. I saw a baby in the audience at one point.
    3. No booze.

    I'm sorry people if anyone reads this and you were at the show and you were under 21. I'm an age snob. I like my gigs full of booze. I'm a dick. And a drunk. That's probably why I got divorced. Or because she's a bitch. The choice is yours.

    For the first hour or so, I sulked at this show. I kicked the air. I frowned a lot. I pouted. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to see some other non-minors in the audience. I felt like I was seeing myself 10 years down the line, "that old guy" at a concert where everyone is

    dressed really well.

    I even ran outside in between bands, looking for a bar or a liquor store. The only thing I found was a sign that said "No liquor around for miles you drunk fuck". That's when I gave up and just decided to have a good time.

    Sans booze.

    And boy did I have a good fucking time. Even though I was sober. Even though I had thought there was only going to be one opening band. Even though I had been at the gym all day and my back legs and ass felt like someone had screwed me with a eucalyptus tree. By the end of the night, I had discovered how to be sober and still have fun at a gig. A longer version may follow for ktmrocks, but here's my 21st century ADD version of a gig review. In bullet perform. Complete with cocksucking internet acronyms. LOL. I'm joking.

    The Raggedy Annes:

    I heard a few people complain about this band at the end of the night. I don't know why. I thought they were original, tight and a great start to the show. They play a combination of swing/jazz/ragtime (I suck at genre-lizing music. I once called "Holy Molar", progressive synth rock noisecore). Vocalist with axe, lead guitarist, a bassist that looked really really sad, a drummer and an intermittent trumpet/clarinet player. They played a host of originals and at least one cover (Tom Waits). Good sound, tight band and the tightest MUSICIANS last night. Loved the lead guitarist of this band. Totally Ren and Stimpy intro. I love saying totally. Totally think that the wind guy needs to play more songs with the band. There was a moment where they broke into a Jewish jig that was very Todd Solondz. I was grinning like a dumbass. Best moment with this band: The closing song Ana Marie. Totally loved the vocal harmonization. Ok, I'm done saying totally. Only complaint: Maybe just a little degree of variation in the song writing.

    I had no idea that there were more opening bands. When Strong Killings took the stage, I was expecting Japanther. I got all scared. I went out to go look at a venue schedule to make sure I wasn't at the wrong show. Then I realized they were another opening band.

    Strong Killings:
    Fucking blew me away. The best opening band without a doubt. Noisy, bass-driven with a drummer that made me want to say fuck you to immigration and go join a band. Hard-hitting, explosive and very very energetic. I got a chance to say hi to "Nate" the vocalist after their set. He told me that they only had a rough demo they self-recorded out right now. Why, guys, why? Loved the Dan Electro guitar. Loved the guitar "riffs". Best moment of the show: The opening song and Stegosaurus. Great stage presence. I am a certified fan of this band. Maybe I'll get to see them play again before fatass USCIS fucks my life up.

    Shearing Pinx:

    When Shearing Pinx got on stage I was pissed. I was so fucking tired and fucking pissed. Where the fuck was Japanther. I ate a candy bar. Then I ate some Whoppers. The Whoppers got stuck to my teeth. Then a group of people crowded the stage in front of me. My ass started to itch. I think I need new soap. Then Shearing Pinx started to tune their guitars. Did they really tune them? Does it even matter?

    You know why?

    Guess what Shearing Pinx turned out to be.

    Think Arab on Radar having sex with Lightning Bolt while Steve Albini's guitar watches with a video camera.

    That's right.

    Noise fucking core.

    My metaphorical penis was hard and ready to go.

    Two guitarists and a drummer. When they first started playing and losing sound and drumsticks, I winced, but they did explain that border patrol would not let them bring their own instruments over. Shearing Pinx is from Vancouver. That's right, Canada. Noisecore from Canada? Holy shit. I thought Canada was all about free health care and figure skating. Apparently they make kickass noisecore too. I know how much it sucks to have to play on someone else's instruments so mad props to these guys for still pulling off a wicked show. I don't know if many people in the audience liked it. But I was grinning like a jackass. Loved the discordant harmonization between the two guitarists. Also the only vocalist that dared tell the extremely bizarre sound crew at Vera to turn up the motherfucking vocals. Best moment: When the girl guitarist started tuning her guitar halfway through a song. Way to go guys. I sincerely hope you get to tour with bands that play the same type of music you do so that you reach a like-minded audience.

    What was up with the gang of groupies that showed up for your set and then disappeared? If you're going to play a show with a group of other bands, hang out for everyone's show. Don't show up to shake a fist at your friends and then leave. That's just rude. If you did actually stay then fuck me. Not literally.

    By the time Japanther took the stage I was ready to leave. I was tired as hell. I was hungry. And I hurt everywhere. But as I saw them set up and as the telephone microphones, the tape player and a whole host of gadgets came out, I was ready to go. Because Japanther was fucking amazing live.

    First of all, they invited everyone on stage. A group of us went... and rocked out on stage with the band. I loved what Ian said "don't give a shit about what people will think, just have a good time" and so I did. Japanther is just two people and a casette player. They sang into yellow telephone headsets. They talked to the audience, made fun of those idiots in the audience that couldn't figure out how to turn their cocksucking portable devices off and joked incessantly. Ian acted out the samples and that was hilarious. Hearing these songs that I've been singing along to played live after so long was amazing. I think they sound WAY WAY WAY better live than they do on record. I danced, I sang, I made weird hand motions, my shorts almost fell off... but it was great. Best moments: When they invited everyone to hug each other and $100 Cover. $100 Cover has to be one of the best songs ever written.

    I'm all about having fun at a gig. But to me, moshing is the lowest form of fun there is. Moshing is something that jocks invented because they didn't know how to have fun at a rock and roll show. Moshing is something you do when you don't know how to dance. Moshing is the most neanderthal way to enjoy a rock and roll show there is. I am so fucking glad I stayed on stage and danced. I would have punched one of those hyperactive little shits if he/she would have bumped into me and pushed me just to live up to some pre-conceived notion of "how to show people I am a tr00 music fan at a concert LOL". I know, I know, I'm a 26 year old fart, a dinosaur, a relic... but screw you kids anyway. The whole point of going to a show is to watch the band play live and listen to the music. I looked at some of you in the audience and I swear to god, it didn't matter to you who was on stage. You were there just to punk and kick people.

    I didn't hear shit when it came to vocals. Seriously. I hope I'm not the first person to tell you this, but you need to rethink your sound strategy.

    This review is all over the place. I'm hungry. I don't give a shit.

    What the fuck was up with that beach ball?
  • Melt-Banana show

    29 Jun 2007, 21:29

    Thu 28 Jun – Melt-Banana, The Show Is the Rainbow

    Awesome show. But Melt-Banana definetely owned this one. TSITR make great music, but watching a guy sing songs on a laptop can only be interesting for so long. Melt-Banana have gotten tighter, more furious and simply exploded all over the stage. Brilliant!
  • The Word

    12 Dic 2006, 16:47

    My foot,
    it itched
    so I

    My wife,
    she bitched
    so I