• 26 th Ferbuary 2012

    26 Feb 2012, 16:14

    In love. Unfortunately, with someone I shouldn't be. Life is tricky. There's nothing more for me to do, just watch, and feel happy that I at least can watch. Nice..
  • Second day of February 2012 - my 18 birthday! <3

    2 Feb 2012, 22:23

    Well, I'm finally allowed to drink alcohol, smoke et cetera et cetera. I'm eighteen!
    and actually I feel like eighteen. Pretty weird. Well, very weird. I guess I have to get used to it. But I had a great birthday party yesterday! It was probably one of the bast moments of my life ^^
    Sank you everyone ;**
  • 28th January 2012

    28 Ene 2012, 16:45

    właśnie straciłam zespół....w ciągu 3 minut straciłam 2 lata pracy w zespole, 2 lata pracy na 13 utworami..wszystko poszło w pizdu. totalna załamka. niechce mi się wiecej pisać.
  • 24th January 2012

    24 Ene 2012, 17:30

    ciesze sie ostatnimi dniami wolnego internetu...postanowiłam popisac dzisiaj troche po polsku...jakoś tak, nie chce mi się bawić w inny język. wszystko przez "pamiętnik narkomanki" i barbare rosiek. wybrałam twórczość barbary rosiek jako temat maturalny...czytanie tego sprawia, że budze się "ja" do życia..długo pracowałam, żeby zdusić to w sobie i przystosowac sie do schematu normalnośći, nawet mi sie on podoba..mało problemówy, prosty i przejrzysty, nastawiony na szczęście. ale ksiażka budzi instynkty, to też dobrze. jestem zagubiona, mam jakby dwie osobowości, które się przenikaja..czy to na prawde tylko nerwica? cholera wie. wracajac do tematu...ACTA. za niedługo skończy się nasza wolność...zdobywam teraz na potęge, żeby się zabezpieczyć..na pó roku starczy...boje sie co będzie potem..bo przecież to nie sprawa, którą można przeczekać..to już na zawsze. ale może jak pójde na studia i zaczne zarabiać, będzie inaczej. łatwiej. bede mogła kupować legalnie płyty, może ktos bedzie mi je pozyczał..jakoś to będzie. nie ma po co sie martwić. lepiej dalej kontynuować moja filozofie bezstresową...będzie gut.

    poza tym jestem chora. jestem w udanym 4 dniowym związku ze swoim łóżkiem..zdradzam go jedynie z rolką papieru toaletowego...straszny katar.

    18stka dojdzie do skutku..ale na następny dzień bede musiała się spotkać z dziadkiem i jego nową panią. ja pierdole..wyzygam się chyba po pierwszych 5 minutach. masakra. dzieki.
  • 22th January 2012 once again

    22 Ene 2012, 20:00

    well, I know I just couldn't stop myself.. I feel terrible. depressed. In five days government will pass new rule about internet privacy, priacy et cetera et cetera. I can't believe it. It is an and of the world for me, just like Mayas said. Sorry for mistakes, but I'm very furious now.
  • 22th January 2012

    22 Ene 2012, 13:20

    well, nothing great. My alcoholic grandma has just arrived with her problems, with her cigarettes, alcohol and psychic problems...damn it. I just can not look at her. she is just damn pathetic. But still I had to eat dinner with her. it was awful experience. I believe that people should avoid stressful situations...we will live longer than..but sometimes we can't. They are going to stay till evening, and tomorrow my grandpa with his second wife is coming to completely destroy my fathers health. I'm going to shoot myself. I don't know but I feel like learning all those two days without eating anything...god I feel like a criminal in my own house. Sorry, going to vomit now.
  • 19th January 2012

    19 Ene 2012, 18:36

    well, it is almost over...school I mean. The whole grades thing et cetera et cetera. Only one subject left and I will be mentally free. Just mentally. But still. It will be easier for me...no more studying at nights, when I should be sleeping, no more stress and other stuffs. I feel like a prisoner...i come back from school learn, sleep 4 hours and go back to school..I feel like I'm never leaving this place...like in a prison. I do not rest at all. Damn it. My mind is full of this shit and I can not learn no more..I'm full, I need to get drunk and vomit all of this informations I gathered this few months. That's why I have to do this whole birthday thing. I need club, loud music, sea of alcohol and others stuffs. I need people who will pretend to be my friends for this one night, I need a lot of presents, hugs and kisses...then vomit, bath and beautiful dream. I swear to god after my birthday I'm going to sleep for three days, drink a lot of coca cola and eat in McDonald..o yeah I forgot. I'm 8 days on diet. I did it, I thought I wouldnt last on this shit for more than a three days. But I did ! Well, I do not feel and slimer at all..but still...by the time of my birthday I will be skinny I'm sure of it!

    I have already chosen my matura topic. I will be talking about Barbara Rosiek's works...I think it will be great. Everything this year is going well...well, except my emotional life..It sucks at all line...totally screwed up and full of nothing but a shit. Damn it. Well, but I'm still young...nothings lost yet ;)
  • 12th January 2012

    12 Ene 2012, 15:18

    Well, I am on a diet. from hm, 6 hours. I'm good. Living on the water. Life lost it's taste...But this time I'm strong. I will be. 1,5 of month on a diet. 5 pounds to lost. Piece of cake. I have spoken today on English about death penalty. Stupid bitch didn't give me an A, but B plus. Damn. I need a few points to mark....eh, school. The should prohibit this.
    I feel so strong and thin...I will be fine for sure.

    I watched "Coffe and Cigarettes" yesterday. Great film. I want coffee now.

    Shit happens.
  • Third day of January new year 2012

    3 Ene 2012, 19:54

    Well, it's been a rough day. I'm completely exhausted. First day of school after week break. I hate that I had to woke up at 6:50 a.m, that I had to go to that place, without washing my hair, cold and that I had to see them. My ex, guy I kissed and guy I secretly loved...god, why do I always have to fall with idiots? Well, I guess I know the answer. I'm alone. I mean I never wanted them for my boyfriends for real relationship, feeling and rest of my life. Even with my ex, I knew it from the begining but I stuck to him. I jest need physic contact, attention, hugs, kiss..everyone needs it from time to time. I actually like being single, but I need this intimacy. I just wish there was a substitute for this thing. It would make my life easier...well, here already is some...the Net. Sex via Internet...not enough for me. But maybe enough for others...that's why people stopped trying..that's probably the source of my relationship problems, everyone think that they're independent and doesn't need anybody and don't care anymore, that's why they started being assholes. God, I wish I was born in times without the Net. 20s? 30s? Great option for me. Well, I just have to keep cool. Stupid phrase. I hate this world of relations. so stupid and hard to understand...what idiots made it like this? Who do I have to kill?
  • Second day of January 2012

    2 Ene 2012, 12:26

    well, it went good, till now. how is it, that i was able to completely forget about the kiss? yesterday night i even convinced myself that it was just a dream, that it was alcohol after dream. shit. morning i woke up without thinking about it..well free, and everything now is back. because of one stupid song. i thought that if I focus on myself and school it will go well. it didn't. i guess it hurts because i have been starting to fall in with...and now i know that it's impossible. even if it become possible for me, i can not. never again. what is wrong with this world? guess me. it's impossible for me to be cool and wait for one true love without doing stupid things like falling in love with idiots, egoists, in a relationship et cetera et cetera. I think I know what is my problem....i'm fucking impatient person. I just want everything now, i hate to wait, I can't be cool, because I want perfection right now. perfect style, perfect me, perfect him. everything. well, i'll be very miserable in life. I can tell.