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  • Coffee: A Musical

    24 Nov 2008, 9:06

    Not really, but kind of. I'm talking about Ziltoid the Omniscient (2007) actually. From his early days with Steve Vai and then his bands Strapping Young Lad and The Devin Townsend Band I can't help but admire the career of Devin Townsend and talent of his musical vision. With his many production credits for other bands helping guide and influence others the man is a metal giant for those who know of him.

    Every album he's every done is a twisted descent into the mind of a genius torn by passion and madness. Each album is unique and every listener can find something to love/hate with all of them. Over a year ago he released the Ziltoid album which is an amalgamation of every project he's ever been in and has a sprinkling of wry humor that is funny - I don't care who you are. It's become my favorite album of his.

    This album makes me want to drink coffee and puts a smile on my face. I drink coffee in anticipation of listening to this album. Only fitting I guess considering it's subject matter. Ziltoid is my companion on those treks to and from the not-so-local bookstore where the ultimate cup of coffee is to be found.

    Is it a space opera? A concept album? A bad joke? The demented ramblings of a lunatic? A daydream? Who cares - it's just good fun even if you don't like it. Fear the sock puppet!




    ZTO

    Ziltoid!
    Ziltoid, Ziltoid!
    Ziltoid!
    The Omniscient!
    Ziltoid, Ziltoid!
    Ziltoid!
    The Omniscient!

    [Ziltoid:]
    Greetings humans, I am Ziltoid...the omniscient.
    I have come from far across the omniverse.
    You shall fetch me your universes ultimate cup of coffee...
    Black!
    You have five Earth minutes,
    Make it perfect!


    By Your Command

    My command!
    My dominion!
    Memory, heart and all opinion,
    Hide me, guide me,
    Dry my tears,
    Slowly taking back the years,
    By your command,
    By your command,
    BY YOUR COMMAND,
    No, I know,
    All I am and,
    We are not,
    We are not to blame,
    For all I have learned now,
    We are not to blame,
    Over and over,
    And over and over,
    And over you live it again!
    (Touch it, take it)
    Make it your friend!

    [Ziltoid:]
    You have not convinced mighty Ziltoid,
    I am so omniscient; if there were to be two omniscience's
    I would be both!
    Prepare yourselves for the subjugation!

    Hide me, guide me,
    Dry my tears,
    By your command,
    Slowly taking back the years,
    Now I know,
    All I ask is,
    We are not,
    We are not to blame,
    For all I have learned now,
    We are not to blame!
    Over and over,
    and over and over,
    and over you live it again!
    (Touch it, take it)
    Make it your friend!
    Oh.. the physical race
    You're dying!
    Oh with physical grace..

    Gone too far from the universe,
    Gone too far for the way on home,
    Gone too far from the universe.. the universe.

    I'm flying...
    Over physical,
    I'm flying,
    Over physical waste,
    I'll keep it light, and stay awake.

    [Ziltoid:] Commander...
    [Commander:] Yes Captain Ziltoid!
    [Ziltoid:] Have the humans delivered their ultimate cup of coffee?
    [Commander:] I have it right here, sir.
    [Ziltoid:] Yes...
    [Ziltoid drinks the coffee]
    [Ziltoid:] FETID! How dare they present this to me! FOUL! They hide their finest bean! Prepare the attack!

    [Commander:] Captain Ziltoid! The humans are preparing themselves for the attack!
    [Ziltoid:] Excellent! Have you prepared the planet smasher?
    [Commander:] Yes, my lord.
    [Ziltoid:] Indeed! On my word.
    [Commander:] Yes, my lord...
    [Human Commander:] Now listen here men! We represent the planet Earth! I want no heroes! He is gonna be unleashing a shit storm on us, we gotta be ready! They are coming over the horizon as we speak! We gotta be ready to take them down! Hold your position men! Do not fire until I tell you to fire! Have you got that?
    [Troops:] YES SIR!
    [Human Commander:] Right! Hold your position! Ziltoid, he comes!

    Pound pound pound ye pushy push pound pound, pound pound pound ye pushy push pound, pound pound pound ye pushy push pound pound - Pound! Pound! Pound! Pound! Pound!


    Ziltoidia Attaxx!!!

    ATTACK!
    People of Earth!
    We are the Ziltodian Warlords,
    Resistance is futile!

    Ziltoidia attaxx!
    Ships are in the sky,
    Everything goes rushing past,
    And you know the reason why!
    Woah! Down!
    Woah! No!
    You give us some coffee!
    You give us some coffee!
    Give it to what they do!
    Ziltoidia Att-tack-tack-taxx
    Ships are in the sky,
    Colder than a robot mind,
    And you know the reason why!
    You better believe we'll destroy the Earth!
    You get up, you get up, you get up, get down!
    And you better, you better, you better believe it!
    We're coming to your town,
    We're coming to your town and you better, you better, you better, you better believe it!
    Ziltoidia attaxx!
    Ships are in the air
    Everything goes rushing by,
    There ain't no-one to stare!
    Ziltoidia attaxx!
    No conceit anywhere,
    You better believe we come and sit,
    With Ziltoid, commander Ziltoid...Ziltoid he comes...
    Check this out!

    [Ziltoid:] I am the greatest guitar player ever to have lived! I am Ziltoid!

    You better believe we'll destroy the Earth!
    You get up, get up, get up and now!
    And you better, you better, you better believe it!
    We're coming to your town,
    We're coming to your town and you better, you better, you better, you better believe it!
    Ziltoidia attaxx!
    Ships are in the air,
    Everything goes rushing by,
    There ain't no-one to stare!
    Ziltoidia attaxx!
    No conceit anywhere,
    You better believe we come and sit,
    We're in your planets air,
    You better, you better, you better believe it!
    You better believe it humans!
    Do you know what?
    You better, you better, you better believe it!
    You better...


    Solar Winds

    [Narrator:]
    Now, being hailed as the ultimate 4th dimensional guitar hero, Ziltoid feels confident in his complete victory.
    But, Captain Spectacular has seen through Ziltoid's façade and now sets out to expose Ziltoid for what he really is...a nerd.
    A nerd...

    We now join Captain Spectacular as he introspectively gazes out of his starship window, on his way to find the fifth dimensional nebulo 9.

    Did you know that time,
    Is not a straight line?
    Everything that you learn,
    Now it's gone,
    Gone away.
    You take your time,
    If you choose,
    You'll burn...
    Everything that you were,
    Now it's gone,
    Gone away.
    Yeah it's gone,
    Gone away,

    Yeah it's gone,
    Gone away,
    Gone!
    And the world is gone!
    And we find theirs no-one that's,
    Waiting for the light to come,
    And we are on our own,
    And we find theirs no-one that's,
    Waiting for the light to call,
    Now you're on your own,
    And You we find theirs no-one that's,
    Waiting for the light to call.

    [Captain Spectacular:]
    I must rise! I must find a way! For this...Ziltoid will surely pay!
    My fellow humans! I, Captain Spectacular, hereby give my good word!

    Yeah it's gone, gone away,
    Yeah it's gone, gone away,
    Yeah it's gone, gone.

    Solar wind blows,
    Through my eye and control mind,
    Solar wind blows,
    Through my eye and control my mind,
    Say it again!
    Say it again!
    Words are used for weapons!
    Say it again, and again and again and again and again and again!
    Don't let her down,
    You've led her into my world!
    Hey, you'll never learn,
    You've led her into my mind.
    Through your soul,
    Your solar winds blowing cold.
    You've never learned,
    You've led her into my world.
    Solar workings of your door,
    The solar wind,
    The solar winds blowing cold.

    [Ziltoidian:] Commander Ziltoid, Permission to speak!
    [Ziltoid:] Granted...
    [Ziltoidian:] It appears as if Captain Spectacular and the remaining humans have set a course to the benevolent hive mine 9!
    [Ziltoid:] Indeed...

    Comfort me; you know I'm right,
    Come to me into the night,
    Knowing we are right behind,
    The solar wind the solar winds blowing cold!
    (Solar winds, solar winds blowing cold)

    [Ziltoidian:] Commander Ziltoid the humans are no longer on our radar!
    [Ziltoid:] What! Curses they must have jumped into hyperdrive. Phooey! Indeed, phooey! Until we meet again commander...


    Hyperdrive

    So cold, in the night,
    Where the river flows,
    Where the river flows,
    So cold, in the night,
    Where the river flows,
    Where the river flows,
    Sail away,
    Hey, I'm sorry,
    Everyday is a new day.
    Hooray for love,
    Hey, I'm lonely,
    Trying to find a new way.
    So cold, in the night,
    Where the rivers slow,
    Say the rivers slows,
    So cold, in the night,
    Where the rivers slow,
    Say the rivers slows,
    So cold...
    Connect!
    So cold, in the night,
    Hold on...
    Hold on...
    So cold, in the night,
    Hold on...
    Hold on...
    Sail away,
    Hey I'm sorry,
    Every day's a new day,
    Hooray for love.
    Hey I'm lonely
    Try and be on your way,
    On your way...
    On your way...

    She loves me not...

    [Narrator:]
    Having made their way through space, Captain Spectacular and his intrepid crew have arrived in nebulo 9.
    Unbeknownst to the humans, Ziltoid has also arrived

    [Ziltoid:] Haha! Surprise!


    N9

    Say to me,
    Eternally,
    Explain to me,
    Infinity,
    (Nine!)
    Stay with me,
    Eternally,
    Explain to me,
    Infinity,
    So cold.
    So far.
    Time slows,
    Time for...
    It's so beautiful...
    So beautiful...
    Into my life,
    So right.

    [Ziltoid:] I feel so...vulnerable. You have not seen the last of me! You have not seen the last of Ziltoid!


    Planet Smasher

    [Ziltoid:]
    Yes, I feel like a good bit of entertainment...time to destroy the planets.
    Which one shall it be? This one? No...too feeble. This one...yes, perhaps.
    Yes. This one shall do nicely. Commander...

    [Commander:] Yes, Captain Ziltoid?
    [Ziltoid:] Divert all the power from the main engines to the front guns
    [Commander:] Yes captain Ziltoid, anything else?
    [Ziltoid:] Take ninety percent of the surplus power and divert it toward the sonar awakening device...
    [Commander:] Aye aye captain.
    [Ziltoid:] We must summon the 6th dimensional planet smasher, I feel like a bit of fun...Summon him.

    [Planet Smasher:] Who dares awaken the planet smasher!
    [Ziltoid:] It is I, the 4th dimensional Ziltoid the omniscient!

    Cherish the mind,
    Cover your mind,
    Cherish your mental sanctum.
    Cower to war,
    Cower to war,
    Cower to war,
    On the Earth!
    Curse to be by the sun,
    Power gain out,
    You are the only one,
    Channels the mind,
    Channels the mind,
    Channels the mind,
    Of the earth,
    Cherish the pain,
    Cherish the pain,
    Cherish the pain,
    Cherish the mental weapon,
    Cower to war,
    Cower to war,
    Cowards remain on the earth.
    Tell me what you want from me!
    ALL I WANNA BE IS THE OMNIVERSE!
    They're allowed to be,
    Around all of us,
    All I want to see,
    Through the omniverse,
    Let its thoughts go until tomorrow,
    Smasher,
    Bow to the valley below,
    Please do not raise the planet smasher, mighty Ziltoid!
    We are...
    Smash it!
    Bow to the valley below,
    Bow,
    Smasher,
    Bow,
    Smasher,
    Bow to the valley below!
    Smasher!
    ALL I WANT TO BE IS THE OMNIVERSE!
    Smasher!
    They are allowed to be!
    Around all of us!
    All I want to see through the omniverse!
    Through the omniverse!
    Through the omniverse!
    Through the omniverse!

    [Planet Smasher:] Foul pest! And by the way the names Herman. And I hate musicals!


    Omnidimensional Creator

    [Narrator:] Having been rejected by the planet smasher, Ziltoid seeks the council of the omnidimensional creator.

    [Ziltoid:] Assuage my confusion about creation and the universe
    [Creator:] Yo! Ziltoid, what's up dude? Long time no see...although I see everything. What's on you mind bro?
    [Ziltoid:] Modular forms and elliptic curves! Infinite fire revolving around infinite parallels fractals of infinite reality, each cascading, gliding in an infinite wheel. Tell me the true nature of my reality!
    [Creator:] You gotta chill man...


    Color Your World

    See how the waves of the world,
    Recline to me,
    See how the weight of the world,
    Resign to me,
    Sooner or later,
    The nights with the satyr,
    Will bring back the memories,
    Time...
    See how the sight of it all,
    Recline to me,
    Dance of the power of all,
    Resign to me,
    Who's the weakest now?
    Caught up in the wire,
    I'm already gone,
    Who's the weakest?
    I concede to rights,
    To do whatever I can,
    Watching a right,
    But not this,
    I'm Ziltoid!
    I don't give a shit!
    I live above earth!
    In a rocket ship!
    I'm Ziltoid!
    The horror!
    The horror!
    I'm Ziltoid!
    The horror!
    The horror!
    I'm Ziltoid!
    The horror!
    The horror!

    Stay at home for me,
    You and I are free,
    To love by the firewall,
    Too loud for a while...
    Stay at home for me,
    (Ziltoid the omniscient)
    Come on I,
    Are we?
    (Oh Ah)
    In time,
    You'll be young again,
    Too loud for a while...
    Say I'm wasting all my life,
    Say I'm wasting time,
    Stay at home for me,
    (Ziltoid the omniscient)
    You and I are free
    To love...

    So in the end,
    It's beautiful,
    It's beautiful,
    Yes in the end,
    It's beautiful,
    So beautiful,

    You say you wanna know!
    You say you wanna take it down!
    You say you wanna know, know, know!
    Well now's the only time!
    Are you sure you wanna know?
    Are you sure you wanna take it down?
    Are you sure you wanna know, know, know?
    You're a PUPPET!
    You're a PUPPET!
    You're a PUPPET!
    You're a PUPPET!
    You're a PUPPET!
    I am a PUPPET!
    I am a PUPPET!
    I am a PUPPET!
    I am a PUPPET!
    We are all PUPPETS!
    We are all PUPPETS!


    The Greys

    Stay away from the unknown
    Stay away from me for a while, unknown...
    You give me all your heart, you give me all your heart for me
    It's the greys again I know, I know,
    And it's a sinister game they play, I know... I know.
    You give me all your heart, give me all your heart for me

    And the words they get so loud
    And when they start to tear you apart
    You were right, you were always right
    Ready or not here I come!!!

    And the greys flood our memories in the long haul
    Can the greys wash away?

    Chaos!

    And the words they get so loud
    And when they start to tear you apart
    You were right, you were always right there
    Ready or not here I come!!!

    And the greys flood our memories in the long haul [x3]


    Tall Latte

    [Man:] ...And they greys float our memories, In the long haul...
    [Boss:] Hey Slacker! Wake up! We got people standing here in line; you're sitting there daydreaming. C'mon we got two veggie white chocolate moccha's, a tall Americano and a Grande cappuccino! C'mon get your butt in gear! C'mon!
    [Man:] oh...sorry...sorry...sorry. OK, two um...
    [Customer:] Excuse me.
    [Man:] Grande...frappe...shit...
    [Customer:] Excuse me.
    [Man:] Yeah, yeah.
    [Customer:] Excuse me sir, I believe I ordered a decaf, non fat, no whip, sugar free, vanilla flavoured latte...
    [Boss:] Hey slacker! We got people lined up out the door over here, C'mon; we got two veggie white moccha's, a Grande cappuccino and a tall latte! Let's go! Move it!
  • iRESET!

    21 Jul 2008, 7:43



    On Monday, July 21, 2008 I decided to reset my playcount here on last.fm. I had 22020+ tracks played by 782 unique artists.


    Why did I reset? Mainly to get rid of unwanted crap that I had the misfortune of listening to at one time or another. Garbage that tended to have the word "core" in the genre name. Shitty music that I will make a point of not listening to this time around, or make sure I delete within the 2 week time period if I don't like it. There were some mistagged or misspelled artists names that I've since corrected. And there was some music that just annoyed me when I tried listening to my radio station (see "core" comment above, I'm not an "emo" kid so I don't know where that crap came from either, and there was some of what I call "pop" by my loose definition of the term, ie: commercial radio music - anything explicitly designed for commercial exploitation). I even remember quite a few instances were Last.fm disregarded the tags I had and listed the bands incorrectly.

    I sat down to listen to my radio station the other day. The first 5 songs where screamo metal core crap that I only listened to a few times in order to decide that I didn't like it - dammit! I should of excluded that crap. It didn't really bother me when it played a Michael Jackson song after a Deicide song, but it left me scratching my head since I haven't listened to any MJ on here. I checked my charts and sure enough there was one MJ song - Smooth Criminal. It was actually a MJ cover song done by Alien Ant Farm that I had listened to. This seems to be common problem with cover songs. The track in question was correctly tagged by performing artist but incorrectly scrobbled by Last.fm.

    And on the subject of Last.fm screwups: would you believe that Last.fm scrobbled the band Prong as Prong Prong Prong? There is a record label called Vitamin Records that produces "string tributes" honoring mainstream and indie groups alike. They have put out a large number of albums (232)that put a classical spin on many genres of music, including rock, pop, punk, techno, hardcore, country, metal and rap. When I first started scrobbling these albums it was confusing trying to determine if String Quartet, String Quartet Tribute, The String Quartet Tribute, The Vitamin String Quartet or Vitamin String Quartet was the correct tag. Well once I had things correctly tagged as Vitamin String Quartet what do you think The String Tribute To Iron Maiden scrobbled as? Iron Maiden. The String Tribute To Dream Theater scrobbled as Vitamin String Quartet, but the String Tribute to Metallica scrobbled as Metallica. A few months later they scrobbled correctly - go figure. In case you're interested there are some amazing string tributes to ACDC, Black Sabbath, Mudvayne, Pink Floyd, Rush, and Slayer.

    How many compilations get tagged as "Various Artists" by cddb or auto-tagging programs? I new something was wrong when the automatic Last.fm recommendation system kept recommending Various Artists to me. Oddly enough there really is a band called Various Artists who bore no similarity to anything that was in my charts.

    The band Аркона I had incorrectly tagged as Arkona by Winblows Media Player because Windont didn't want to read Russian characters. Arkona is actually a polish black metal/death metal that sucks, IMO. Аркона are a good Russian pagan-metal/folk-metal band and have a really beautiful sounding singer. I had even mispelled Dream Theater as Dream Theatre on one whole album.

    And then there are bands/artists like these:
    Corrosion of Conformity / COC / C.O.C.
    Dirty Rotten Imbeciles / DRI / D.R.I.
    Method of Destruction / MOD / M.O.D.
    Stormtroopers Of Death / SOD / S.O.D.
    Indestructible Noise Command / INC / I.N.C.
    Office of Strategic Influence / OSI / O.S.I.
    Grotesque Through Incoherence / GTI / G.T.I.
    Týr / ᛏᛣᚱ
    Tarja Turunen / Tarja
    Արամ Խաչատրյան / Aram Khatchaturian
    Николай Римский-Корсаков / Nicolay Rimsky - Korsakov
    At one point Last.fm recognized all of the variations as unique and valid artists!
    And a few it still does.

    Gods forbid if some fanboi sees you using the Tarja Turunen tag instead of Tarja. Get a life fanboys & girls! Some people even argue over the Týr and ᛏᛣᚱ tags. One is the band's name the other is the band's logo in runic font. Both to me are valid and are much to be preferred over TYR which is a talentless drum & bass electronica hack.
    --
    How are you supposed to accurately tag a band who changed their name years into their career? Such as The Lord Weird Slough Feg who are now called simply Slough Feg. Or Korova who changed their name to KorovaKill. What about Devin Townsend? Some of his albums are by Devin Townsend and yet others are The Devin Townsend Band.
    --
    All it would take is a simple script flag and all of those tags could point to one preferred artist page. Which would prevent a lot of the pointless arguing and flaming I've seen instigated over what is the "correct tag." Wasn't that the point behind being able to vote for the correct tag and spelling all of these months?

    ________________________________

    So I've corrected the few misspellings, considered all of the multiple tags and chosen the ones I felt were most valid, and I no longer use an "autotag" feature when ripping compilation cds. And now begins the epic journey to rebuild my tracks played, but with only music that I like and approve of. Less of the bad and more of the good this time around. I'm going to play my music library from 0-9, A-Z as an experiment to see how long it takes - or until I get bored with that. But truthfully, I thrive on randomness and variety so I don't know how long I will be able to set through multiple hours of the same band. I can think of a few bands in which it may take days to listen to all of the albums that I have.
    ________________________________

    My TOP 10 listened to artists

    Not really my favorite bands but certainly the ones I listened to the most in 47 weeks of scrobbling.
    ________________________________

    ________________________________

    My eclectic score was:
    82/100
    Which tells me less than the OpenMindIndex


    But does listening to 20+ flavors of metal really make someone "open minded"? I think it was designed to appease the genre/sub-genre fanatics.
    ________________________________

    I had one of those metal ad things also, but the designer of that thing was too limited in scope (ie: narrowminded and not eclectic enough) in order for it to realistically capture the true state of my top artists. It was a good attempt though.
    ________________________________
    ________________________________

    Now for an even more boring analysis of my listening habits, with pictures for the reading impaired:

    I listened to 22020+ songs on my computer between May 13, 2007 and July 21, 2008. The actual time comprised was only 47 weeks since I took a few months off in there somewhere. The following charts show how much my top artists/albums/songs comprise the music I've listened to.

    The chart above summarizes how much my top 10 artists accounted for all of the music I listened to.


    In terms of artists, 12% of the music I've listened to came from my top 10 artists, 22% came from my top 25 artists, and 35% came from my top 50 artists. Approximately 65% of the music I've listened to lies outside of my top 50 artists.


    In terms of albums, 7% of the music I've listened to came from my top 10 albums, 12% came from my top 25 albums, and 18% came from my top 50 albums.


    In terms of individual songs, 1% of the music I've listenened to came from my top 10 songs. 3% came from my top 25 songs and 4% came from my top 50 songs


    The Long Tail of My Music Listening Habits

    The following charts show The Long Tail of how I listened to my favorite artists/albums/songs.

    Let's see how many of my top artists/albums/songs it takes to account for half the number of times I've listened to my top 50 artists/albums/songs.

    My top 19 artists make up about 50% of the 7649 times I've listened to my top 50 artists. Recall that my top 50 artists account for 35% of all 22020 songs I've listened to.


    My top 17 albums make up about 50% of the 3940 times I've listened to my top 50 albums. Recall that my top 50 albums account for 18% of all 22020 songs I've listened to.


    My top 18 songs make up about 50% of the 962 times I've listened to my top 50 songs. Recall that my top 50 songs account for 4% of all 22020 songs I've listened to.
  • Be a real guitar hero!

    2 May 2008, 6:50

    Don't be lame!
    Stop pretending
    and do it for real.
    Put down the game controller and pick up one of these!


















  • Disordered Sleeping.

    14 Abr 2008, 22:06

    I'm just doing this because I got bitched at by someone (who isn't a friend or in my neigbors list) for not paying enough attention to them. WTF!!!

    This is more of a warning to the people that I may be talking to on here or those who notice that I'm around and listening to music but think I'm ignoring them when they send messages. That really isn't the case.

    I don't sleep much, maybe two or three hours of solid sleep a day if I'm lucky. It's not the falling asleep that is difficult (I can close my eyes and will myself to sleep in minutes), it's the staying alseep that I have problems with. Most of the time I'll doze off for 10 or 15 minutes only. And it's weird because I can sleep through anything. Airplanes taking off, tornado sirens, earthquakes, people yelling, gunshots, etc. But if someone whispers my name or touches me I'm instantly awake. There is no moment of grogginess either that most people have when adjusting from being asleep and then waking up. It seems that I'm either on or off and some practical joker is always flipping the damn switch.

    This is something I've been dealing with for almost seven years now and nothing seems to help. Sometimes, getting shit-faced drunk helps; but not really, it just makes the world spin even faster. I don't think It affects my waking life too much unless I've been up for days at a time in which case my thoughts get muddled and incoherent I get edgy and canterkerous even and have a constant headache. Hell I've even had hallucinations after being awake for 80+ hours. I definitely tend to ramble on in my conversations with other people.

    A lot of the times when I'm laying awake late at night I'll set up a playlist of anywhere from 4 to 12 hours of music on it, set it on random and see if I can get any sleep. Sometimes I get a little, sometimes none at all. Believe it or not I find heavy extreme music to be soothing. If I try to listen to something light and airy it tends to annoy me more than anything and keeps me awake. But for some reason on the nights that I do leave some music playing I do sleep better.

    So if you see me on here and I seem to be listening to stuff at random, I may actually be asleep or just dozing. And if you leave a message I'll get back to you within moments or a few hours depending. Just don't think I'm ignoring you and then berate me for it.