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Things My Mom Says About Music

When I'm studying or reading for class, I tend to have my laptop nearby, with some mind-absorbing sound to keep me motivated; a beautiful college cliche this is. At times, my parent will be nearby and hear what's playing. Sometimes, she has things to say.
Below is an ongoing comprehensive list of what's she's said, regarding what song.

Sunn O))) - Hunting & Gathering (Cydonia)
"Don't listen to that, it's evil. I thought it was opera music until I heard that damn devil voice."

Salome - An Accident of History
"I don't always mind what you wanna play, but that's not even a song, that's just noise."

Kazuki Tomokawa - Who's That Kid?
"Tell that Jappy to stop that yappy."

S.O.B. - Delusions of Terror
"That's the devil!"

Electric Wizard - Satanic Rites of Drugula
"That actually sounds good."

Fear of God - I've Seen
"That guitar sounds like 'errrrnerrrnerrrrrrrn.' Like a rock guitar."

King Tubby - Dub Magnificent
"Very polka, very brass. It's like a polka dance. I'm waiting for Lawrence Welk to come out. They'd come out and do that polka dance."

Belphegor - Swarm of Rats
"I picture this band playing at, like, in Greece, with an orchestra, it's almost like in a coliseum, but that damn voice…"

Salem - Frost
"Sara Brightman would sing to that in a gay club."

Unholy Grave - Ethnocide
"His mouth sounds like a garbage disposal."

King Tubby - Dread Locks Dub
"What the hell's that thing? That thing sounds like a fork scratching metal. Thing's too loud."

Celtic Frost - Into the Crypts of Rays
"Now that's a good guitar right there."

Leatherface - Not A Day Goes By
"Is Sting in that band?"

Mr. Bungle - Squeeze Me Macaroni
"He just said boner! Turn that shit off!"

Jucifer - Japanese And Lovely
"Those whistles that you blow back and forth is what that sounds like. Goddamn."

Kazuki Tomokawa – Dead Drunk
"Is that an Italian man?"

Slayer – Angel of Death
"I know that's not AC/DC…is it Beastie Boys?"

Jooklo Duo – Primitive Power
"What the hell is that? Is someone screaming outside?"

Danzig - Heart of the Devil
"He sounds kinda like Cher sometimes."

Type O Negative - Set Me On Fire
"You could walk into any gay club and here music like that."

Die Antwoord - In Your Face
"Ya know, Tupac was a handsome black man."

Mater Suspiria Vision - Call of the Witches
"It sounds like the record's skipping. Reminds me of when I used to go roller skating. We didn't have music there, just "dee-neena-nee-neena-nee," like polka stuff would be playing."

MF DOOM - Gazzillion Ear
"I told you your music would change again. I can remember, you were just some kid wanting a bunch of goddamn rap CDs for Christmas, and I went and fuckin' got you them expensive things, just so you could trade them in for Jimi Hendrixes in a year or two."

Danzig - Black Candy
"I dunno why you keep making jokes about Glenn Danzig being fat, I've seen pictures; he's not even that fat."

The Cramps - Domino
"How come you didn't tell me you liked the Rolling Stones? I wanna see them before I die. Or they die."

White Ring - Suffocation
"That's scary music. It's "reowwww," like a cat."

White Ring - Ixc999
"Reminds me of this song, what was it…they played it in the gay bars- the only place you could hear it back in those days."

Salem - Skullcrush
"That's horrible. My god, what is that? You don't know art. There's too much going on."

White Ring - Suffocation (Fostercare Remix)
"I was in there trying to fold some clothes, and I thought, 'There must be cats fightin' outside.' Then I come out here, and it's that damn music."

Wu-Tang Clan - Shame On A Nigga
"You think they could go one second without niggerin' and say real words?"

Faith No More - Just a Man
In reference to Mike Patton: "Is that my Italian boyfriend?"

Laurel Halo - Supersymmetry
"Me and all my gay friends…I can see it now."

Vortex Rikers - Dreams
"I'm at the beach. I'm at the beach and out in the ocean with an inflatable crocodile and some tea with a lemon in it. This is what it sounds like."

Crystal Castles - Vietnam
"That's the name of the song? Really? Doesn't sound like a war to me."

Scott Kelly - Return to All
"That is some redundant fuckin' bullshit. Goddamn, he has a nice voice- but holy shit, throw in a chorus."

Kode9 & the Spaceape - 9 Samurai
"Oh, there comes the marching band!"

Daterape - Behold
"That's something you wanna hear when you're by the beach, drinking a glass of wine with your man."

She said when she saw a picture of Skrillex:
"Oh my god! He looks like the daughter from Roseanne. What was her name again?"

The Growlers - Sea Lion Goth Blues
"Is that The Doors? Well, I'll be."

DJ SS - United (Grooverider Remix)
"What band is that? Oh? It sounds like Led Zeppelin.

Burial - NYC
"Oh my, it sounds so Japanese - like Yono Ono or Mickey Mouse stuck underwater."

Ou Est Le Swimming Pool - Jackson's Last Stand
"It's like the eighties are finally here again."

Lil Ugly Mane - LEAN GOT ME FUCKED UP
"I don't like it - I feel like I'm in the projects."

Three Six Mafia - Walk Up To Your House
"How did they ever win that grammy?"

Burial - Stolen Dog
"Why is there all that crackle? I thought the speakers were blown out. Just watch, he's gonna blow out my speakers."

The XX - Chained
"This is soooo Duran Duran."

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