Depression illness. Reasons?

 
    • Satyr696 escribió...
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    • 6 Jun 2007, 16:29
    thesilentnigma said:
    it's always about love

    This is what caused the chain of agony to me as well
    I can't eat anymore... I even tried to starve myself... now I just force myself to eat, just to get my parents of my back
    I'm getting 'help', but today was just the first talk, so I don't know if I would help me
    I ran off to Sweden to a friend of mine who helped me a lot, but got caught and sent back to the Netherlands
    More and more I seem to be attracted by alcohol and drugs, just to ease the pain. I don't enjoy things anymore, I'm just too addicted to gaming.
    Anyone who dares to say gaming isn't an addiction is, in my eyes, a fool
    I live more within a game I am not allowed to play than in this body, which is a pretty messed-up situation.
    At school my notes are dropping like a rock, even though I managed to get through with my depression for close to 7 months now...
    The few people I know tell me it's just a 'fase'. It isn't.

    "Kill with pride, kill with hate. They all lie. They all deserve to die."
    • yourvirus escribió...
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    • 18 Jun 2007, 21:40
    @thesilentigma:
    funny how people make an illness out of everything they think what is bad...
    depression?... illness
    misanthropie?... illness

    therefore, my life have to cause genocide of my neurotransmitters... -.-

    • bloodfall escribió...
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    • 30 Jul 2007, 3:32
    I had a terrible childhood and a history of bipolar disorder.

  • Uhm...OCD and depression...what caused that? Who knows? There is no apparent reason,no recent tragedy,a pretty fine life (some may say),but I guess...Too sensitive,vounereable,lonely...Hard to say what are the causes and what are the symptomes...Hopelessnes and teh feeling of not being able to stand every minute that comes.I'd explain my current state of mind in that one sentence.

    • Wolkkkk escribió...
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    • 14 Ene 2008, 6:57
    Life just feels to go out of hand and nothing is planned and it feels like i cant get a hold of anything in life. Weed helps though

  • Hi everybody

    My parents. Too overprotective. They made me choke. Other thing made the rest...

  • city life... parents, love and friend...
    loneliness...

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 12 Ago 2010, 20:42
    The negative effects that Aspergers Syndrome has on my daily life, my extremely low self-esteem, and the fact of that I'm not a particularly strong person mentally, etc..

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 17 Ago 2010, 7:46
    shortbuzzrider pisze:
    The negative effects that Aspergers Syndrome has on my daily life, my extremely low self-esteem, and the fact of that I'm not a particularly strong person mentally, etc..


    My situation is similar, I have BPD instead of AS though. Also, the society is making me sick.

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 17 Ago 2010, 14:20
    The fact of existence here.
    And I've been pessimistic since I remember, maybe because of my origin?... (though I'm not pure Finn - I'm only half-Finnish). So if I am pessimistic, it was so easy for me to fall into depression.
    And I also had a terrible childhood. I won't tell more about it.
    And I don't really know what's wrong with me. Some psychologists say that I have AS, others say that I suffer from paranoid personality disorder. Probably I have both. And it also makes me depressed.

    Editado por un antiguo usuario el 22 Ene 2012, 2:30
    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 23 Ago 2010, 23:09
    I don't think I'd even know where to begin, but mainly self-loathing and feeling completely hopeless and endlessly lost with life. This has been going on sinse I was about 8-9 years old, I am 20 now. Alot of it is how other people have made me feel growing up and the relationship I had with my mother when I was a child (namely child abuse). I think these things have perhaps contributed, but it's just overall being alive. I don't want to do what most people want in life. I feel to worthless to have any kind of involvement with anybody, I am immensely scared of commitment and affection, everything is just constant paranoia.

    I think that's probably the best way I can explain it for now.

  • I was always depressed because of my awful life, and now I'm depressed because of love and studying too... Stupid life, I hate it so much... But I can't just kill myself, I'm afraid of pain... =(

    • gnrmcr escribió...
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    • 22 Mar 2011, 2:06
    I don't know. it seems that the more you get then the more you ask for which results in never being satisfied or happy. :/ Seriously, my life is far from being that bad nowdays, but I have lost any interest in anything, I can't feel anything, just this apathy... Sometimes I even "wish" I could feel pain or any bad feeling instead of this emptyness. It's like I'm sleeping..
    Anyway, the first time I was depressed I kwew the reasons & I knew what I wanted to be well, although I didn't think life would ever change. I didn't have hope, but I had a dream.
    Now, I don't know what's wrong (except for the thing I spend too much time home studying but that'll end in June) and I can't think of anything that could make me feel ((better)). In fact it's too hard for me to even concentrate to "find a dream".

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 5 Oct 2011, 23:05
    I dunno. Genetics (my mom, my sister and my brother all have it). Shyness (probably avoidant personality disorder) leading to loneliness leading to depression in a self-feeding cycle. Emotionally absent parents.

  • An abusive childhood and a predisposition to mental illness (my mum's dad committed suicide, my uncle's in a long-term psych ward with Bipolar Disorder, my dad is Borderline, and so on).

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    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 22 Ene 2012, 1:43
    a shitty childhood/life and family predisposition to misery.

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 22 Ene 2012, 2:18
    In fact, each of us has their own reasons.

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 23 Ene 2012, 20:13
    ^This

    Extreme anxiety, social phobia, negativism and all around "awareness" is what triggered my depression, according to my pdoc.

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 19 Ago 2012, 0:33

    Editado por un antiguo usuario el 8 Oct 2012, 20:05
  • My whole life has been like a series of made for tv movies. So much bad shit has happened that reality doesn't seem realistic. Everyone I have ever cared about is dead. I suffer with daily pain from fibro and back issues from a fall and car accident. I am quickly going broke and have no job and my health gets worse and I have no insurance and when things get really bad I have no one to turn to because everyone is already gone. I have very few reasons to not be depressed... though when you see me or talk to me you would never know how badly I am doing. I have gotten so good at faking it that it has become 2nd nature to me. I don't know what its like to not be depressed so in some ways I am the happiest depressed person you will ever meet because its a daily thing for me so depression is the norm for me. I don't have bad days I have days and then days that are worse. I can't relate to anyone... most people's problems are trivial in comparison and often I feel more alone around 'depressed' people than I do even around 'happy' people. I have no idea what its like to really connect with anyone. I have very little in common with anyone. Lots of my depression comes from people. I am happiest alone at 4am when everything is quiet and it feels like I have the world to myself. Though since the last 2 people 'close' to me that died in the past 3 yrs both died at night I sometimes have my moments of depression at night when certain times pass but I still try to told on to how it used to make me feel when possible.

    Pain melted in tears, and was pleasure; Death tingled with blood, and was life.
    - Algernon Charles Swinburne
    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 11 Sep 2012, 16:32

    Editado por un antiguo usuario el 8 Oct 2012, 20:05
    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 2 Oct 2012, 9:01
    Because I'm homosexual and life sucks... :'(

    • squezey escribió...
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    • 24 Nov 2012, 4:35
    Well time for to spill the beans. All through my life when I was very young up until the first year of high school I was such mommy/daddy dick sucking, cry baby, tool that was too mentally disabled to correctly interact with anyone so I never made any friends on my own. A couple neighborhood kids came over from time to time throughout my whole life but I wouldn't really call them friends I just somewhat get along with them and we did stuff together just because. They also just used me to steal my food and games because they were also assholes years ago. When I got to high school and took some control over my life that I could even though I was still heavily mentally fucked over so I couldn't do much on my own and still can't (can't drive, can't get a job, can't get an ID. Haven't been to a psychologist but parents will probably be forcing me to though. worried about what they will do to me.). I also got a lot of shit from my parents because going from such a tool to being my own person in the length of just a year was a big change to them. Mother was also extremely abusive up until a couple years ago but I guess now she realized that beating the living shit out of me whenever she got mad at me only made me worse (I also have very violent psychotic episodes about her occasionally, sometimes I almost get into fights with other family members because of random rage explosions.). I grew up with my father mostly and that worked out well even though his side of the family gets me mad sometimes it's nothing like my mother's that is much worse, me and my mother never interacted much besides those fights. All through high school I was very lonely, never had a boyfriend and I really wanted just one person to love and still do which is huge part of why I'm still depressed now, don't care about having many friends at all. I couldn't find anyone first 3 years, had a few crushes but no one ever approached me and I couldn't approach a bunch of straight dudes, that would be a waste but you of course it did happen because I just couldn't resist my final year because I was so desperate but he made me so happy. It all started with a typical "hey check out this funny video on my ipod!" and then we just started talking more and more in school. I grew extremely attached as no one ever let me get this close to them no strings attached and he was very good looking (not the best but his awkward cuteness made up for it), he didn't even mind full hugs which was the weird thing so I thought he also liked me. There was also a time when we were one step away from full cuddling when we happened to be the only one's in the room but it never happened. Soon after one day when I just mentioned actually getting together and actually seriously doing things together he flat out acted surprised and got angry at me and avoided me for the rest of the year which confused and upsetted me beyond belief also. I still think about him since he's the only person I ever even got slightly close to though basically one of things still keeping me hoping and living. Losing my mind a little here, as nothing changes in my life and my family just makes me more and more angry. Also getting older and I don't want to, have less than 10 years before it's all over for me. But like I said that tiny glimmer of hope keeps me alive along with other simple pleasures I live off of. Feel horrible tonight which is why I'm typing this, like someone said up there my life has been almost nothing but misfortune.

    • [Usuario eliminado] escribió...
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    • 25 Nov 2012, 19:34
    SoulJazzsterInc said:
    Because I'm homosexual and life sucks... :'(

    Homosexuality isn't a reason to be depressed, really. But I guess you mean others opinion about it...

    • Your_Old escribió...
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    • 4 Mar 2013, 23:32
    My case? Years of domestic violence and sexual abuse. It affected my life too much so that I don't really know how to express my feelings and needs. I'm scared of people getting close to me or trying to touch me. I think if I ever love someone, it will be only love in meaning "relationship of souls", without any sexual intercourse or desire. Maybe it's a proof that I'm weak and everyone can do whatever they want with me. This caused something else, I'm just misunderstood by others, so that i'm rather hated than loved.

    JHVA ELOHIM METH

    "Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
    And in the lowest deep a lower deep
    Still threat'ning to devour me opens wide,
    To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heaven."
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